Everybody deserved to be loved, so why aren't I?
by the-mpreg-spirit
Summary: Could be slash. After seeing James with Lily, Sirius muses on why he's alone. Sad! depression! rating could go up. spoilers for OOTP. Dedicated to Jaleandralalok apple, my spanish biatch and the most lovable insulting cow. Talk to you soon Gabby!
1. Why am I alone?

Dedication: To the nicest, kindest, bitchiest apple that ever lived, a.k.a: Jaleandra-la-lok.

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Sirius Black walked onto the Qudditch pitch on a late Tuesday afternoon. It was unusually quiet, most people being inside doing Homework or relaxing in front of the fire in their common rooms. He mounted his broom and took off into the air, flying high into the air.

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, then opened them and looked over the pitch. He then saw two figures sitting together on the bleachers. After a second look, he recognised the messy black hair of James and the fiery red hair of Lily Evans.

He laughed softly, for the past week, since they had gone out on their first date, the pair had become inseparable. Sadness overtook Sirius's happiness, sure, he was happy for James, nut he had been the one inseparable from James till a week ago.

He looked away at the romantic sunset with so many different colours, red, yellow, orange and his mood dropped more if possible. Yes, he was the Hogwarts playboy, yes he did go out with a different girl every week, but didn't he deserve to have love? The reason he had gone out with and dumped those girls was for the same reason as everyone else, he just wanted somebody to love. He had just never taken it seriously before because he had James.

He flew over to one of the other bleachers and stared off into the remains of the sunlight and watched as Lily and James got and hand in hand, and walked off the pitch, obviously going to the Halloween feast. But Sirius just sat there, not really feeling like being around happy people at the moment.

It wasn't until he got up, the moon now shining brightly above, that he saw the small tears, tears of hurt, loneliness and pain, flowing freely down his face...

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Written for the raven's nest, most probably will have a 2nd chapter, depending on the popularity of this

Review please.


	2. What would I do without you?

"Sirius? Is that you?" Remus asked as he squinted in the darkness.

Since James was with Lily and Peter was asleep, it was now Remus's job to go out looking for Sirius. Usually he would have assumed he was with some girl and left him, but since Sirius wasn't see anyone (a rare occasion), and he hadn't been seen since that afternoon, Remus had started to get worried since the map had said he wasn't in the castle.

As he got closer, he sat down. Sirius just looked straight ahead. The moonlight shone on his face and Remus saw his blank expression and the tearstains on his cheeks. "Why moony? Why am I alone? Why can't I hold onto one girl?"

"Sirius, as far as I know, this has never bothered you before, why now?" Remus asked.

"It's never bother me before because I guess I had Prongs. Now that he has Lily, who do I have?" He choked, tears falling down his cheeks. Remus took his hand and Sirius turned to him.

"You have me Padfoot." He said and Sirius gave a small smile.

"Thanks Moony, what would I ever do without you?" Sirius asked.

"You'd have stayed out here all night. Merlin, looks like you already have, it's 2 am! Come on, let's go, or Mcgonagall will have our heads." Remus said and they stood up and started to walk. "Wait, what about your broom?" Sirius looked back, shrugged, put his arm round Remus's and together they walked back to the castle arm in arm.

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The last and final chapter will contain slight slash. Do you people want a sequel? 


	3. How do you do that?

"Hey Prongs, whatcha doing?" Sirius asked as he walked into the 7th year boys once cold, frosty, December morning.

"Oh, just finishing packing." He said and Remus and Peter, who had followed Sirius in, gasped with him.

"But Prongs, we always spend Christmas here. Together. Since first year." Peter said and James sighed and sank down onto his bed. He reached into his pocket and puled out a little box.

"I know Pete, but I wanna propose to Lily on Christmas eve and she wants me to meet her parents." James said.

"Gee, for taking 7 years to pull her, you sure don't move slow, do you?" Sirius replied.

"It's nothing like that, we just found out yesterday that she's pregnant." There was an awkward silence till Sirius laughed and pounced on James, head locking him.

"Sirius! Geroff!" James laughed. Remus ushered Peter out the room so the two friends could share the moment.

"I'm sorry I haven't been spending time with you lately." James said.

"It's ok." Sirius lied.

"No really, I wanna make it up to you. That's why, I was wondering, would you be the baby's godfather?" James asked uncertainly.

"Of course I will!" Sirius answered being glomped by his friend.

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"Now what's wrong Sirius?" Remu asked as the two ( Peter had also decided to go home after Jame's announcement) sat in the common room on Christmas eve. 

"Nothing Rem, it's just, now James is going to be spending even more time with Lily and less with us. If she is due in July like he said, James is going to spend the rest of the year carrying her books around, fawning over her, talking to the baby!" He siad and Remus sighed and held Sirius close.

"He's just getting on with his life. He's not going away, he just has more, responsibilities now."

"How the hell do you do that?"

"What?"

"Know just the right thing to say." Sirius said and the just stared at each other before leaning forward into the kiss that started their relationship, which lasted roughly 2 years until they were torn apart as Sirius saw the hurt in Remus's eyes as they dragged him off to Azkaban...

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Sequel coming when I have time to write it...

Please review


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